There's been a huge firestorm going on regarding the trilogy written by E.L. James, the first one entitled "Fifty Shades of Grey" since the book's release a few years ago. They even talked about it on the Today show -- more than once. Militant feminists were up at arms, preachers were up at arms, husbands were up at arms ... and women were quietly sitting in the corner and reading the books, sending all three way up the charts of whatever bestseller list you want to name. When the second book came out, supposedly one of the Manhattan Barnes & Noble stores actually had a stampede and sold them all before they could even be unboxed. Those sinful city women.
I grew out of romance novels a long time ago and my one relationship that even came close to walking on that side of town ended more than a double dozen years ago, so truthfully, I didn't take much notice when the books came out. Feminists are always looking for a new agenda, so are moral conservatives so it pretty well went beyond my notice. I had no intention of ever reading the books as my literary interests go in other directions, until one day on Facebook when a male friend that I admire greatly called them trash. This surprised me a lot because this friend, while for the most part morally and fiscally conservative, is generally quite open-minded and rarely just casts judgement in any direction without having all of the facts. I challenged him on his categorizing these books as "trash" as he admitted having not read them, and while he backpedaled a little, he didn't step off of the soapbox.
At that point, I decided to see what all of the fuss was about, and downloaded the first one from the public library. Yes, this book that some label pornographic is available in our local library, and you don't have to show an ID to read it. I was able to borrow it online and have it downloaded to my cell phone, which did not immediately burst into flames.
I thought it was a pretty good work of fiction. Good enough that I read the second and third books as well. A little young for me, the main characters are in their 20's, and my kids are not even that young anymore, so my point of reference was a little thin. The story line was fairly good, if unrealistic. Then again, so is every paperback romance novel (including the "Christian ones") there is out there.
Which is why I'm just a little amazed at the reactivation of the firestorm now that the movie is scheduled for release in a few days. Mine is not the first blog by far to be dedicated to this movie, but for the most part -- the blogs I've read at least -- they're all bashing and crashing and gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair. Oh the horror. How can they do this? How can they allow this movie to be shown! He's nothing more than a psychopath, a sociopath! He's taking advantage of her! He's just like my ex-husband! This will ruin society as we know it! How dare they! Pitchforks and torches everyone! Head for the castle and kill the monster!
A lot of it is warnings -- don't let your daughter/wife/sister/best friend go see this! It will cause them to believe that this is a normal relationship and they will end up with someone like X. Women are going to enter into BDSM relationships and get hurt! This will allow all of the predatory males out there to harvest a brand new crop of vulnerable women.
This is where I get just a little annoyed. Not just with the FSOG bashers -- although some of them are a little over the top. I get annoyed any time someone decides that a work of art, whether it be a book, a painting, a story, a song, a poem, music...anytime someone judges a piece of art and uses as their excuse "It will make X do Y." I remember back in the 80s when Ozzy Osborne was blamed for the deaths of several teenage boys who committed suicide, as Blue Oyster Cult was a generation before. At least one family sued Ozzy and his record label, but the suit was dismissed by the judge -- rightly so in my belief. Art does not make people commit suicide, or become a victim to a sociopath, or jump off cliffs. Art, at the most, makes us think. If the thinking leads to a dark place though, it's not the fault of the art. It's the fault of the mind.
Are there men (and women) out there who are psychopaths and sociopaths who are able to control and manipulate women (and men)? Oh yes. I was once married to one. Are there women out there who are vulnerable to this type of man? Well, yes. I was once one. Does reading this book or watching this movie make these women more vulnerable?
I don't think so. I really don't, and I certainly don't think that it's going to make a woman who wouldn't normally be vulnerable to this type of individual prone to seeking one out.
Fiction is fiction. Almost every movie out there is fiction. Most people who read for pleasure read fiction. Watching a Star Trek movie doesn't make me want to hop into a space ship and go traveling into space. Okay, wait, I'm wrong, it does. So does books by Heinlein, Asimov, Clark and Harrison. However, I'm realistic enough to know that if a man from the future knocked on my door and his space ship was in my yard, I'm not just going to go "Well see ya later honey, take care of the cats for me!". I know the difference between reality and fantasy, and so do 95% of the women out there. If you're going to try and ban these books and this movie and call them trash, then you aren't getting the picture.
Instead of wringing our hands about how horribly that handsome and rich devil Christian abuses and controls poor Anastasia, why not sit our daughters/sisters/mothers down and ask them if they've ever known of a real-life relationship that was just like what you read in the romance books? Because they aren't. Those cheap little romance paperbacks many of us women are guilty of reading at at least some point in our lifetime bear the same resemblance to a real relationship and marriage that Star Trek does to our NASA space program. No one believes that in real life Bruce Willis can jump from a fighter jet to an 18 wheeler truck, and no one should believe that a mousy little girl that works in a hardware store can snag the richest man in the world with a body you can eat ice cream off of. Real life just doesn't work that way.
As for the other thing -- the "sex scenes", I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are lots of books out there that are MUCH racier than this one, and they are on your library shelves as well, for anyone to check out. I just don't get the hullaballoo on that. One of my favorite series which is also set in the future is about a female police detective and some of the scenes of her with her -- rich and famous and hotter than hell -- husband would definitely give this series a run for it's money. Yet, the author has cranked out over 40 books in the series, is famous all over the world and you don't see women freaking out over them.
Give women credit. We're smart, we're sensible. And just as guys like their movies where they can do impossible things with cars on a highway full of state troopers, us girls sometimes like a movie where the girl gets to have an affair with the hot, rich guy. Years ago, when I did read romance novels, I worked as a supervisor in a call center. Not the most glamorous job by far, and pretty thankless to boot. As I've joked more than once, as supervisor you never get the "Oh thank you for doing a wonderful job" calls. Ever.
At lunch time I would sit outside whenever the weather permitted and read my books and eat my lunch and hope that no one came along and wanted to talk. One day a fellow male supervisor asked me why I "wasted my lunch" every day like that.
"Wasted???" I replied. "Are you kidding? Every day for one hour I get to leave this place and have a hot affair with a sexy guy in my own mind and I'm not cheating on my husband to do it. I wouldn't call that a waste." Yeah. FSOG is kind of like that. For two hours I get to sit in a dark movie theater with a lot of other women and we all get to have a hot affair with a sexy guy and go home guilt free. It's just a movie. If you don't like it, don't go see it or don't read it. Just leave the rest of us to our little bit of fun.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The True End Of An Era
Spoiler Alert - This blog is about me going to see "Star Trek: Into Darkness", but there are no movie spoilers. You can read secure in the knowledge that, if you haven't already seen it, should you choose to go see the movie at the theater, you will be as clueless after you read this blog as you were before...about the movie, that is.
We went on Monday, Memorial Day, to see the new Star Trek movie "Into Darkness. I actually like this alternate reality Star Trek universe - I do. I wasn't quite sure I would when I first heard the rumors during production of the first "alt universe" Star Trek movie. But as a sci-fi buff, I find the premise quite plausible.
That being said, let me give you a little background. I am a Trekker. I wasn't quite four years old when the original series debuted in September of 1966, and I can't swear that I saw every episode when they originally aired, but I do remember my father telling me to sit down in front of the TV when I was about five years old and watch this show, because "this is what it's going to be like when you grow up."
Well, as we all know now, Dad was wrong. We've made it no farther than the moon, and only dropped by there a few times. We have the International Space Station, but our country doesn't even have a way to get there on our own now - we have to rely on other countries for a ride. Supposedly there is a Mars mission in planning...but with our current Congress, I'll believe it when I see it. I'm afraid that there's very little chance that humans will leave Earth's orbit again in my lifetime...and just the thought of that brings tears to my eyes. What a waste.
At any rate, I don't have a floating car, nor a phaser, although I did carry around something for a few years that looked suspiciously like a communicator from the original series. With the advent of 3D printers, we're a step closer to replicators, which supposedly makes the need for money obsolete in the society portrayed in the Star Trek franchises. We're somewhat closer to tolerance in some respects, and as far away as we ever were in others. And we have not ended war on our planet. Once again, unfortunately, I don't think I'll see that in my lifetime.
Yes, I'm a true Trekker. I've seen every episode of every show that had "Star Trek" in the name, including the cartoons. I've been to science fiction conventions and Star Trek conventions. I've held drunken discussions at two a.m. with other fans as to which is cooler...and the whiches ranged from Star Trek vs. Star Wars to TOS (The Original Series) vs TNG (The Next Generation ) vs DS9 (Deep Space 9) vs Voyager. Nobody debated Enterprise. I haven't found anyone yet who didn't want to drag the writers of that show out and beat them with a rolled up copy of Star Log.
I've read most, if not all of the Star Trek books. I own every book written by the original cast. I've actually sat on the lap of Jimmy Doohan (Scotty) and drank scotch, and chatted with George Takei (Sulu) - before he became known for the funniest stuff on Facebook. I've exchanged tweets with both Brent Spiner (Data) and Levar Burton (Geordi Laforge). I accidentally insulted Marina Sirtis, and embarassed Michael Dorn. I refused to pay $30 to spend two minutes with William Shatner, something I've never regretted. I've never owned a Star Trek uniform, but I have written fan fiction (not published and never will be). I have a good number of action figures (some signed) and other memorabilia, which I jokingly call my "retirement plan". I think calling myself a Trekker is a pretty fair assessment.
And last, but certainly not least, I've seen every Star Trek movie, most within the first week of release, and certainly all during their first run in the movie theater (as well as owning them on VHS, DVD or both). But ST: Into Darkness is probably not only the last Star Trek movie I'll see in the theater, unless someone gives me free passes it's probably the last movie I'll see in the theater period.
We probably haven't been to a movie in well over a year. I'm trying to remember the last one I saw, and I'm thinking it was either the last Transformers movie, the second Iron Man movie, or The Avengers. I know it was an action flick - when you mostly watch movies with two guys, you get outvoted a lot. It has to be something REALLY special for me to get to see one that I want to and they don't in the theater. The only time either of them has seen either of the "Sex In The City" movies was when I put the DVD in after John fell asleep on the couch one night, and he woke up halfway through. I snuck "The Lake House" in on them by telling them it was about time travel, like Penny did with Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. I guess great minds think alike. At any rate, the last movie we saw in a theater was in 3D and Imax, so we went to Simpsonville to watch it. We knew going in that it was going to be about $15 a ticket, so we saved up for a couple of weeks to go. But like I said, that was over a year ago, and...oh wait, it was the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Anyway, we saved up, it was a special night out, in the "big city" of Greenville, we had dinner afterward, you know the drill. But it isn't something we could afford every night, or every weekend, or even once a month.
Seneca's Cinema 8 used to suck badly. I mean, the place was right out of the 80's and hadn't been upgraded since then. Uncomfortable seats, bad lighting, ugly carpet, bad sound...but it was cheap - usually at least $2 cheaper per ticket than Anderson or Greenville. Still, it was bad enough that we usually went to Anderson to see movies. Apparently in the last couple of years they've really upgraded the place. Seeing Star Trek: Into Darkness, we helped pay the loan payment on that upgrade.
They're now all digital, which is nice, and they show 3D movies, which was super-cool for Star Trek. Still, by the time the night was over, I had decided that this was probably my last movie in a theater. It just isn't worth it.
Tickets for the 3 of us were $32. That's a meal for three with baklava at the Pita House in Greenville. A bag of popcorn and two 32 oz. drinks were another $16. No, that's not a typo. Sixteen dollars for something I could make at home for a dollar and liquid I could buy for another $2. We judiciously stopped by Dollar Tree and for less than what we would have paid for one box of movie theater candy we bought three boxes that traveled to the theater in my purse. I felt somewhat guilty about that going into the building. I didn't coming out.
The three of us plus other assorted friends used to be Saturday night regulars at the discount theater in Clemson before it shut down. Talk about in bad shape - that theater made the one in Seneca look like it was brand new BEFORE it was renovated. The Clemson Astro II hadn't been upgraded since the '70's, and they would turn the heat off in the theaters during the last showing on winter nights. I usually took a blanket with me whenever we went there, and I wasn't the only one. But for $11 you could get two movie tickets, two drinks and a bag of popcorn. THAT was a deal, and we learned with experience which seats were broken and avoided them. We also learned to take a flashlight and look at the seats and the floor before sitting in them. But once again, for that price, we were willing to do it.
The new upgrades at the Seneca theater are nice, I'll give them that. The wider aisles and reclining seats make the viewing experience much nicer, and the digital screen and sound system were right up there with anything we've seen in Anderson and Greenville. But before the night was over, we spent $50, with nothing to show for it. Maybe $50 isn't a lot of money to you, but to us, it is.
I learned when the Clemson theater shut down that your full ticket price doesn't go to the theater, it goes to whomever owns the movie, a warped idea in my mind, but apparently that's how it is. How the theater makes their money is in the concessions. Many theaters have begun to offer everything from a Starbucks in the lobby to a full-service restaurant, replacing the video parlors tucked into one corner in the '80's and '90's. Nachos, hot dogs, pretzels and other stuff that you used to only find at the ball park are now staples at most theaters. One theater we went to had a "make your own popcorn" bar, where you controlled the addition of butter, salt and flavorings. Ice cream, Icees...your selection of movie munching is much nicer than it used to be. I don't have an issue with that, with any of it really...except that the pricing is anywhere from three to ten times that of what you would find outside of the theater. That, I do have a problem with.
With the advent of bigger and bigger screened TV's (I think we're up to 80" now?), movies on command via internet, Redbox, Netflix, surround sound, you can't help but do the numbers....let's say that a 42" plasma TV is now $500. That's ten movie nights. Ten. And let's be totally honest here...you don't even have to pay for the movies with a little skill in maneuvering ads destined to find a way to get to your money or computer. But let's say you do have an $8 subscription to Netflix online. For less than one visit to a movie theater, you can watch all the movies you want, online, anytime you want to, and make your own damned popcorn...or ice cream...or vodka martini.
When TV came into popular use, many predicted that it would signal the end of the movie theaters....and while TV did make a dent, people still went to the movie theaters to sit in the dark in front of that big screen and munch popcorn with tons of butter-flavored oil on it and live the experience. When VHS movies and DVD's became reality, the same things were said and the same things happened. But it was because a night at the movies for a family of four was still CHEAP.
I marvel at families with children in this economy - we struggle and there's just the two of us and the cats. I don't know what we'd do if we had kids at home. I know one thing though - it would be a VERY rare event for us to go to the movie theater. I love Star Trek so much that hearing Leonard Nimoy recite the mantra "Space...the final frontier..." brings tears to my eyes. Fortunately or unfortunately, however, I don't believe the next time I hear that, it will be in a dark, cold theater, with a soggy wax cup in one hand and a greasy paw reaching into a paper bag full of popcorn with the other. After half a century, I guess all good things have to come to an end.
Live long and prosper.
We went on Monday, Memorial Day, to see the new Star Trek movie "Into Darkness. I actually like this alternate reality Star Trek universe - I do. I wasn't quite sure I would when I first heard the rumors during production of the first "alt universe" Star Trek movie. But as a sci-fi buff, I find the premise quite plausible.
That being said, let me give you a little background. I am a Trekker. I wasn't quite four years old when the original series debuted in September of 1966, and I can't swear that I saw every episode when they originally aired, but I do remember my father telling me to sit down in front of the TV when I was about five years old and watch this show, because "this is what it's going to be like when you grow up."
Well, as we all know now, Dad was wrong. We've made it no farther than the moon, and only dropped by there a few times. We have the International Space Station, but our country doesn't even have a way to get there on our own now - we have to rely on other countries for a ride. Supposedly there is a Mars mission in planning...but with our current Congress, I'll believe it when I see it. I'm afraid that there's very little chance that humans will leave Earth's orbit again in my lifetime...and just the thought of that brings tears to my eyes. What a waste.
At any rate, I don't have a floating car, nor a phaser, although I did carry around something for a few years that looked suspiciously like a communicator from the original series. With the advent of 3D printers, we're a step closer to replicators, which supposedly makes the need for money obsolete in the society portrayed in the Star Trek franchises. We're somewhat closer to tolerance in some respects, and as far away as we ever were in others. And we have not ended war on our planet. Once again, unfortunately, I don't think I'll see that in my lifetime.
Yes, I'm a true Trekker. I've seen every episode of every show that had "Star Trek" in the name, including the cartoons. I've been to science fiction conventions and Star Trek conventions. I've held drunken discussions at two a.m. with other fans as to which is cooler...and the whiches ranged from Star Trek vs. Star Wars to TOS (The Original Series) vs TNG (The Next Generation ) vs DS9 (Deep Space 9) vs Voyager. Nobody debated Enterprise. I haven't found anyone yet who didn't want to drag the writers of that show out and beat them with a rolled up copy of Star Log.
I've read most, if not all of the Star Trek books. I own every book written by the original cast. I've actually sat on the lap of Jimmy Doohan (Scotty) and drank scotch, and chatted with George Takei (Sulu) - before he became known for the funniest stuff on Facebook. I've exchanged tweets with both Brent Spiner (Data) and Levar Burton (Geordi Laforge). I accidentally insulted Marina Sirtis, and embarassed Michael Dorn. I refused to pay $30 to spend two minutes with William Shatner, something I've never regretted. I've never owned a Star Trek uniform, but I have written fan fiction (not published and never will be). I have a good number of action figures (some signed) and other memorabilia, which I jokingly call my "retirement plan". I think calling myself a Trekker is a pretty fair assessment.
And last, but certainly not least, I've seen every Star Trek movie, most within the first week of release, and certainly all during their first run in the movie theater (as well as owning them on VHS, DVD or both). But ST: Into Darkness is probably not only the last Star Trek movie I'll see in the theater, unless someone gives me free passes it's probably the last movie I'll see in the theater period.
We probably haven't been to a movie in well over a year. I'm trying to remember the last one I saw, and I'm thinking it was either the last Transformers movie, the second Iron Man movie, or The Avengers. I know it was an action flick - when you mostly watch movies with two guys, you get outvoted a lot. It has to be something REALLY special for me to get to see one that I want to and they don't in the theater. The only time either of them has seen either of the "Sex In The City" movies was when I put the DVD in after John fell asleep on the couch one night, and he woke up halfway through. I snuck "The Lake House" in on them by telling them it was about time travel, like Penny did with Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. I guess great minds think alike. At any rate, the last movie we saw in a theater was in 3D and Imax, so we went to Simpsonville to watch it. We knew going in that it was going to be about $15 a ticket, so we saved up for a couple of weeks to go. But like I said, that was over a year ago, and...oh wait, it was the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Anyway, we saved up, it was a special night out, in the "big city" of Greenville, we had dinner afterward, you know the drill. But it isn't something we could afford every night, or every weekend, or even once a month.
Seneca's Cinema 8 used to suck badly. I mean, the place was right out of the 80's and hadn't been upgraded since then. Uncomfortable seats, bad lighting, ugly carpet, bad sound...but it was cheap - usually at least $2 cheaper per ticket than Anderson or Greenville. Still, it was bad enough that we usually went to Anderson to see movies. Apparently in the last couple of years they've really upgraded the place. Seeing Star Trek: Into Darkness, we helped pay the loan payment on that upgrade.
They're now all digital, which is nice, and they show 3D movies, which was super-cool for Star Trek. Still, by the time the night was over, I had decided that this was probably my last movie in a theater. It just isn't worth it.
Tickets for the 3 of us were $32. That's a meal for three with baklava at the Pita House in Greenville. A bag of popcorn and two 32 oz. drinks were another $16. No, that's not a typo. Sixteen dollars for something I could make at home for a dollar and liquid I could buy for another $2. We judiciously stopped by Dollar Tree and for less than what we would have paid for one box of movie theater candy we bought three boxes that traveled to the theater in my purse. I felt somewhat guilty about that going into the building. I didn't coming out.
The three of us plus other assorted friends used to be Saturday night regulars at the discount theater in Clemson before it shut down. Talk about in bad shape - that theater made the one in Seneca look like it was brand new BEFORE it was renovated. The Clemson Astro II hadn't been upgraded since the '70's, and they would turn the heat off in the theaters during the last showing on winter nights. I usually took a blanket with me whenever we went there, and I wasn't the only one. But for $11 you could get two movie tickets, two drinks and a bag of popcorn. THAT was a deal, and we learned with experience which seats were broken and avoided them. We also learned to take a flashlight and look at the seats and the floor before sitting in them. But once again, for that price, we were willing to do it.
The new upgrades at the Seneca theater are nice, I'll give them that. The wider aisles and reclining seats make the viewing experience much nicer, and the digital screen and sound system were right up there with anything we've seen in Anderson and Greenville. But before the night was over, we spent $50, with nothing to show for it. Maybe $50 isn't a lot of money to you, but to us, it is.
I learned when the Clemson theater shut down that your full ticket price doesn't go to the theater, it goes to whomever owns the movie, a warped idea in my mind, but apparently that's how it is. How the theater makes their money is in the concessions. Many theaters have begun to offer everything from a Starbucks in the lobby to a full-service restaurant, replacing the video parlors tucked into one corner in the '80's and '90's. Nachos, hot dogs, pretzels and other stuff that you used to only find at the ball park are now staples at most theaters. One theater we went to had a "make your own popcorn" bar, where you controlled the addition of butter, salt and flavorings. Ice cream, Icees...your selection of movie munching is much nicer than it used to be. I don't have an issue with that, with any of it really...except that the pricing is anywhere from three to ten times that of what you would find outside of the theater. That, I do have a problem with.
With the advent of bigger and bigger screened TV's (I think we're up to 80" now?), movies on command via internet, Redbox, Netflix, surround sound, you can't help but do the numbers....let's say that a 42" plasma TV is now $500. That's ten movie nights. Ten. And let's be totally honest here...you don't even have to pay for the movies with a little skill in maneuvering ads destined to find a way to get to your money or computer. But let's say you do have an $8 subscription to Netflix online. For less than one visit to a movie theater, you can watch all the movies you want, online, anytime you want to, and make your own damned popcorn...or ice cream...or vodka martini.
When TV came into popular use, many predicted that it would signal the end of the movie theaters....and while TV did make a dent, people still went to the movie theaters to sit in the dark in front of that big screen and munch popcorn with tons of butter-flavored oil on it and live the experience. When VHS movies and DVD's became reality, the same things were said and the same things happened. But it was because a night at the movies for a family of four was still CHEAP.
I marvel at families with children in this economy - we struggle and there's just the two of us and the cats. I don't know what we'd do if we had kids at home. I know one thing though - it would be a VERY rare event for us to go to the movie theater. I love Star Trek so much that hearing Leonard Nimoy recite the mantra "Space...the final frontier..." brings tears to my eyes. Fortunately or unfortunately, however, I don't believe the next time I hear that, it will be in a dark, cold theater, with a soggy wax cup in one hand and a greasy paw reaching into a paper bag full of popcorn with the other. After half a century, I guess all good things have to come to an end.
Live long and prosper.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A Chinese Curse
You know the Chinese curse that says "May you live in interesting times"? Please help me track down the fucker that said that so I can stomp his bones into dust. Because apparently I crossed his list at some point, and it has made for some craziness the likes of which defy the imagination.
Let's see - #1: We get a call the first of February from our Landlord. The home we live in and property we live on is part of an estate, and we pay our rent to the heirs of the estate. However, the heirs would like to get a better return so they asked us to move in 30 days from that date so that they could renovate the home before putting the property up for sale.
This was a very devastating blow to us. Truthfully, we really hadn't recovered from the traumatic move out of Easley a year and a half ago - there's still a lot of stuff in boxes in the basement. Maybe that's not such a bad thing though - saves me having to pack it back up.
The thing is, it's not that simple to move this household. We can't just open the paper, find a property in our price range that has the required amount of square footage and number of bedrooms, put down the deposit and first month's rent, and move in. We have a fair amount of furry baggage by anyone's standards that comes with us.
Call any house for rent, in any price range in your local market, and say the words "Fifty cats" somewhere in the conversation. I dare you. If you get another fifteen seconds on the phone with that person, I'll personally give you a $5 bill.
Owner financing is a better option, but we don't have the money for a down payment, and even then, most people who would do owner financing aren't going to agree to allow an animal rescue to set up either.
What you have to look for is the unique property, the one no one else is looking at....it's most likely non-traditional in some way...maybe an old farmhouse that has been built onto three or four times so that it almost appears to be a series of sheds. Or the storefront building sitting at an intersection in the middle of nowhere that has been empty for five years. Or an old wooden church or school building off the main highway. An old Victorian with Federation columns that has pretensions to a southern mansion that someone started a renovation on years ago and sits still in an unfinished state. The only requirement to any of these properties is that they have some space that can be converted into a rescue cattery. Since that conversion mainly means installing some extra heavy-duty breakers and outlets, installing some additional lighting, laying down linoleum tile and having a nearby water source, you can use anything from an enclosed carport to a metal shed with a concrete floor to an old barn. But finding these properties is tough. I've been at it for well over a month now, so I know. We actually did find a place that would have worked perfectly for our needs, a soon-defunct day care center, but unfortunately it was far out of our price range.
So the search continues, in Oconee, Anderson, and now Greenville counties. We will not return to Pickens County. Our experiences there continue to haunt all of us and I for one refuse to live in fear of jackbooted thugs with badges and guns coming to my door again. The nightmares have stopped, I have no intention of allowing them a way in again.
That being said, I'm willing to look at things outside of that area, but only as a last resort. I'm even willing, for the right property, to give up high speed internet for now. Anyone who knows me knows it will be like a junkie going cold-turkey - my methodone will be my smart phone, but just like a junkie, it won't be the same. But I'll do it for the cats, and pray for U-verse in the meanwhile.
#2 - My search for a full-time job has so far turned up nothing, and cell phone repair has not progressed to the point where I have a steady income from it. It's picking up as people hear about me, but not enough. Our income is now upside down, and if something doesn't happen soon I don't know what we are going to do.
#3: My father is sick again. See a few blogs back about how I feel about that. I'm still working on those feelings, trust me, but it's not going to change anything.
#4: Food Trip To Washington: The last two weeks of February I fundraised like mad to raise $300 to cover gas to and from the DC area to pick up a HUGE load of cat and dog food. Finally, on Friday, March 1st, we had $200 of it raised and I just decided screw it, I'm going anyway. Surely people won't leave me stranded on the side of the road. If I have to I'll go in a truckstop and pass the hat for money. But that wasn't necessary - a few hours later we had what we thought was more than enough for the trip (Denise didn't take into account the heavier load causing a severe reduction in MPG on the return trip) and the next morning I left bright and early for DC. It was an uneventful trip with the exception that I ran into traffic in Richmand, VA. I got there early enough that Chris Haslam with Commonwealth Humane Society and his lovely wife Linda were able to buy me dinner (a luscious bacon cheddar cheeseburger - definitely NOT on my diet!)
They also got me a hotel room donated at a Hyatt in the DC area. The room was very comfortable - my only complaint is that high speed internet cost extra, or you could lug your computer down to the lobby and use it there for free. I didn't think the Hyatt's patrons would appreciate my Pink Floyd oversized tee and men's blue boxers, and I didn't feel like getting dressed, so I watched TV instead. It was hard but I had my phone.
The next morning dawned cloudy and cold, and after a wonderful breakfast we spent the next five hours packing and loading the truck and the trailer. By the time we were done the hitch was about 10" off the ground. I wondered at the time if I were going to leave the transmission someplace on I-95, but that 2000 GMC Sierra performed like a trooper and the trip home, with the exception of some traffic in a couple of different places and a short visit at Sacha Furr's house in Mebane (a fellow rescuer who works with cats and kittens with neurological and genetic disabilities primarily) to drop off cat food, treats and pee pads, get kisses from my Beenie Baby, a handicapped cat I helped transport and fell madly in love with, and take a short nap, was pretty uneventful. I'm still distributing the dog food, treats, toys and bedding to local dog rescues.
#5: Found out that we will most likely be losing the loaned rescue vehicle we have been using for the past two years. The person who has kindly allowed us to use their vehicle, as well as paying the insurance and taxes while we used it, is now in need of the vehicle back themselves, and will continue to help us as they can but we need a full-time vehicle for the rescue. If you're reading this and you know of anything, please let me know. We can't afford to buy but if we can find one donated we are a 501-c3 charity so it would be tax deductable. Email me at dotsplaceanimalhaven@gmail.com if you know of anything.
#6: Made a new friend - the one bright spot in all of this is that I have gotten to know a really nice person in the last two weeks and it has made a huge difference in my life, just having that new connection. I've known this person for a while but finally got the chance to have some interesting dialogue and realized what a great individual this is and how lucky I am to have found this out. I look forward to many more spirited discussions in the future and I think that even with all of that above, I may have, for at least two weeks, come out on the positive side for once.
I don't know what the future holds but I can pray for peace, which I do. I don't like all this upheaval. I want my life to be smooth, orderly, even predictable and boring. I would welcome boring for just a little while. But that damn Chinese philosopher keeps raising his ugly head....
Let's see - #1: We get a call the first of February from our Landlord. The home we live in and property we live on is part of an estate, and we pay our rent to the heirs of the estate. However, the heirs would like to get a better return so they asked us to move in 30 days from that date so that they could renovate the home before putting the property up for sale.
This was a very devastating blow to us. Truthfully, we really hadn't recovered from the traumatic move out of Easley a year and a half ago - there's still a lot of stuff in boxes in the basement. Maybe that's not such a bad thing though - saves me having to pack it back up.
The thing is, it's not that simple to move this household. We can't just open the paper, find a property in our price range that has the required amount of square footage and number of bedrooms, put down the deposit and first month's rent, and move in. We have a fair amount of furry baggage by anyone's standards that comes with us.
Call any house for rent, in any price range in your local market, and say the words "Fifty cats" somewhere in the conversation. I dare you. If you get another fifteen seconds on the phone with that person, I'll personally give you a $5 bill.
Owner financing is a better option, but we don't have the money for a down payment, and even then, most people who would do owner financing aren't going to agree to allow an animal rescue to set up either.
What you have to look for is the unique property, the one no one else is looking at....it's most likely non-traditional in some way...maybe an old farmhouse that has been built onto three or four times so that it almost appears to be a series of sheds. Or the storefront building sitting at an intersection in the middle of nowhere that has been empty for five years. Or an old wooden church or school building off the main highway. An old Victorian with Federation columns that has pretensions to a southern mansion that someone started a renovation on years ago and sits still in an unfinished state. The only requirement to any of these properties is that they have some space that can be converted into a rescue cattery. Since that conversion mainly means installing some extra heavy-duty breakers and outlets, installing some additional lighting, laying down linoleum tile and having a nearby water source, you can use anything from an enclosed carport to a metal shed with a concrete floor to an old barn. But finding these properties is tough. I've been at it for well over a month now, so I know. We actually did find a place that would have worked perfectly for our needs, a soon-defunct day care center, but unfortunately it was far out of our price range.
So the search continues, in Oconee, Anderson, and now Greenville counties. We will not return to Pickens County. Our experiences there continue to haunt all of us and I for one refuse to live in fear of jackbooted thugs with badges and guns coming to my door again. The nightmares have stopped, I have no intention of allowing them a way in again.
That being said, I'm willing to look at things outside of that area, but only as a last resort. I'm even willing, for the right property, to give up high speed internet for now. Anyone who knows me knows it will be like a junkie going cold-turkey - my methodone will be my smart phone, but just like a junkie, it won't be the same. But I'll do it for the cats, and pray for U-verse in the meanwhile.
#2 - My search for a full-time job has so far turned up nothing, and cell phone repair has not progressed to the point where I have a steady income from it. It's picking up as people hear about me, but not enough. Our income is now upside down, and if something doesn't happen soon I don't know what we are going to do.
#3: My father is sick again. See a few blogs back about how I feel about that. I'm still working on those feelings, trust me, but it's not going to change anything.
#4: Food Trip To Washington: The last two weeks of February I fundraised like mad to raise $300 to cover gas to and from the DC area to pick up a HUGE load of cat and dog food. Finally, on Friday, March 1st, we had $200 of it raised and I just decided screw it, I'm going anyway. Surely people won't leave me stranded on the side of the road. If I have to I'll go in a truckstop and pass the hat for money. But that wasn't necessary - a few hours later we had what we thought was more than enough for the trip (Denise didn't take into account the heavier load causing a severe reduction in MPG on the return trip) and the next morning I left bright and early for DC. It was an uneventful trip with the exception that I ran into traffic in Richmand, VA. I got there early enough that Chris Haslam with Commonwealth Humane Society and his lovely wife Linda were able to buy me dinner (a luscious bacon cheddar cheeseburger - definitely NOT on my diet!)
They also got me a hotel room donated at a Hyatt in the DC area. The room was very comfortable - my only complaint is that high speed internet cost extra, or you could lug your computer down to the lobby and use it there for free. I didn't think the Hyatt's patrons would appreciate my Pink Floyd oversized tee and men's blue boxers, and I didn't feel like getting dressed, so I watched TV instead. It was hard but I had my phone.
The next morning dawned cloudy and cold, and after a wonderful breakfast we spent the next five hours packing and loading the truck and the trailer. By the time we were done the hitch was about 10" off the ground. I wondered at the time if I were going to leave the transmission someplace on I-95, but that 2000 GMC Sierra performed like a trooper and the trip home, with the exception of some traffic in a couple of different places and a short visit at Sacha Furr's house in Mebane (a fellow rescuer who works with cats and kittens with neurological and genetic disabilities primarily) to drop off cat food, treats and pee pads, get kisses from my Beenie Baby, a handicapped cat I helped transport and fell madly in love with, and take a short nap, was pretty uneventful. I'm still distributing the dog food, treats, toys and bedding to local dog rescues.
 |
| Check out where the hitch is! |
#5: Found out that we will most likely be losing the loaned rescue vehicle we have been using for the past two years. The person who has kindly allowed us to use their vehicle, as well as paying the insurance and taxes while we used it, is now in need of the vehicle back themselves, and will continue to help us as they can but we need a full-time vehicle for the rescue. If you're reading this and you know of anything, please let me know. We can't afford to buy but if we can find one donated we are a 501-c3 charity so it would be tax deductable. Email me at dotsplaceanimalhaven@gmail.com if you know of anything.
#6: Made a new friend - the one bright spot in all of this is that I have gotten to know a really nice person in the last two weeks and it has made a huge difference in my life, just having that new connection. I've known this person for a while but finally got the chance to have some interesting dialogue and realized what a great individual this is and how lucky I am to have found this out. I look forward to many more spirited discussions in the future and I think that even with all of that above, I may have, for at least two weeks, come out on the positive side for once.
I don't know what the future holds but I can pray for peace, which I do. I don't like all this upheaval. I want my life to be smooth, orderly, even predictable and boring. I would welcome boring for just a little while. But that damn Chinese philosopher keeps raising his ugly head....
Monday, September 17, 2012
Letter to the Editor
Last week Covidien, a major employer in Oconee County, announced that they were closing their plant in Seneca and taking all 600 jobs to Costa Rica, where minimum wage for these jobs is between $1.85 and $2.45 per hour (American Dollars). This announcement, coming on the heels of a major layoff at Itron, is a severe blow to the Oconee County economy. In July, a bill went before the US Senate that would stop companies that ship jobs overseas from getting tax breaks here in the US. It failed, and only three Senate Republicans voted for the bill - Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins and Scott Brown. Under existing law, employers may take tax deductions for the costs associated with moving OUR jobs out of the country! The proposed legislation would have stopped this practice, and used the new revenue to fund a 20% tax credit for the costs companies have bringing labor back into the U.S.
I wondered if a similar bill had gone before the House of Representatives, and if so, how Jeff Duncan had voted. I did a little research and found that, while this bill had not gone before the House, another bill introduced last year that would stop call centers from outsourcing jobs overseas had. It was no surprise to find that Mr. Duncan voted against that bill, against stemming the flow of good paying call center jobs with companies already making a profit out of this country to places where an hour's wage wouldn't even buy you a bag of groceries.
What I would like to know is, what did Mr. Duncan and our local leaders do to try to stop this loss of much-needed jobs in this poor county that they represent? Did they meet with company officials to try to work out a compromise? Did Duncan pull together county leaders and work with them to find a way to keep Covidien in Oconee County? Did any of them do ANYTHING to keep these jobs here where we need them? Was Mr. Duncan even aware that these jobs were leaving?
This county is heavily in Republican hands, and I have seen no effort by them to try to either keep the companies we have, like Itron and Covidien, from leaving, or to attract new companies with good paying jobs to this area. New businesses have opened and relocated to the counties around us, but it never seems to reach here.
It is time to hold our local government responsible for what is wrong in this county. Obama didn't cause this, those in power in Oconee County let this happen. It is time that we put people in place that will work FOR Oconee County, not against it. Think about your vote in November..
I wondered if a similar bill had gone before the House of Representatives, and if so, how Jeff Duncan had voted. I did a little research and found that, while this bill had not gone before the House, another bill introduced last year that would stop call centers from outsourcing jobs overseas had. It was no surprise to find that Mr. Duncan voted against that bill, against stemming the flow of good paying call center jobs with companies already making a profit out of this country to places where an hour's wage wouldn't even buy you a bag of groceries.
What I would like to know is, what did Mr. Duncan and our local leaders do to try to stop this loss of much-needed jobs in this poor county that they represent? Did they meet with company officials to try to work out a compromise? Did Duncan pull together county leaders and work with them to find a way to keep Covidien in Oconee County? Did any of them do ANYTHING to keep these jobs here where we need them? Was Mr. Duncan even aware that these jobs were leaving?
This county is heavily in Republican hands, and I have seen no effort by them to try to either keep the companies we have, like Itron and Covidien, from leaving, or to attract new companies with good paying jobs to this area. New businesses have opened and relocated to the counties around us, but it never seems to reach here.
It is time to hold our local government responsible for what is wrong in this county. Obama didn't cause this, those in power in Oconee County let this happen. It is time that we put people in place that will work FOR Oconee County, not against it. Think about your vote in November..
Friday, August 3, 2012
Love Sucks...
It seems to be shaping up to be that kind of week. I got news that my Dad is back in the hospital again. Despite being "friends" on Facebook with several of my cousins, things get to me kind of slow about goings on back home. Like sometimes snailmail speed slow. I don't fault anyone, it's not a priority and I know that. But it is frustrating at times.
Throw in a little Olympic crap (I can watch Michael Phelps swim a lap or maybe two, and one of those little girls jump around a bit, then I'm bored. I don't get the fascination), Chick-Fil-A and the manufactured crisis, and trying to plan to move a business AGAIN, a day of severe neck pain and a lawnmower issue and well....
I made a decision a few years ago to stop associating with some members of my family, most especially my immediate family. Ours has never been a peaceful coexistance, and after Mom died things went downhill to the point where every time I'd travel home to Tennessee, I'd spend half the trip back crying, and the next two weeks severely depressed. John got horribly frustrated with me, because he wasn't on those trips and he just couldn't get what was so bad - so what if we had a little tiff? See, his family is the total opposite of ours - they get into it on a regular basis, get loud, wave arms and stomp around a bit, then it's over. No grudge, no long drawn out vendetta, it's just done. In our family, we remember every slight, no matter how small, and we bury it all until it just gets to be too much and we explode. And when we explode, anyone within shouting distance gets hurt.
So I think even John is a little baffled as to why I decided to put an end to the pain being dealt out to me by those I have no defense against. Not recently, but not too long ago he was still encouraging me to go visit Dad again. He doesn't understand, as a number of others don't, that at this point it's not a choice I can make. The last time I found myself in my Dad's presence I got physically sick and had to leave immediately. While I love him and always will, (and we know that we have no say in who we love), too much happened over the years, there is too much rage, too much hurt. And there is nothing he can do to change that. I have been told that until I let my anger go, until I forgive, that I am not in a state of Grace. Well, that may be. But it doesn't change things.
There's been a lot of misinformation and disinformation associated with me and my name over the years. A lot of it came from my ex-husband. I won't lie to you, I was a very troubled teenager and I ran away from home a number of times. I also drank and occasionally smoked pot. I made some less than intelligent decisions in my teens and early 20's - but nothing on the scale of what was passed around about me by my family. By the time I was 26 I had grown out of all of that, I was in school, supporting myself and the kids, working two and sometimes three jobs to pay the bills. Did I cut up, cut loose on occasion with friends? Yes - just like everyone else. But there have been no arrests, no jail time, no rehab programs, no halfway houses, no drunken car wrecks, no car thefts, no attempted murders, no thefts of any sort, no marriages destroyed....in other words...my record is looking pretty clean in comparison to a great many members of my extended family. Oh yeah, and in that time period I also managed to buy and sell several houses, start and sell two successful businesses, I'm a published author and I've been quoted in The Nation. I got a college degree, I married a wonderful man and we've been together for almost 20 years, and I found several of the best friends any one person could ever have. And yet I'm seen as a failure.
I don't know if the people that made the stuff up just thought that I'd never hear any of it, or if they just didn't care. Either way, if you believed just half of the gossip exchanged by my good Christian extended family members, it's a wonder that I'm alive today. I should at the very least be in an AIDS ward someplace.
I remember the day that Dad apologized to me for believing my ex-husband instead of me. His excuse was that James was so credible, being an engineer and an Air Force Officer and all, that it wasn't until James broke promises to him that my Dad realized what a skumbag James was, and that maybe I had been telling the truth about him all along. When I asked him about the time I came to his house, bruised and bloody after yet another beating by the Officer and Gentleman, about why he didn't help me then, his answer was "Honey, every married couple fights".
I think, at this point, I'm pretty much done trying to prove myself to a group of people who have no interest in knowing who I really am. As one cousin recently opined, it's amazing that we're all from the same gene pool. I am so completely different - all of Dad's kids are so completely different in so many ways from the rest of his family... which makes me think it has to have something to do with Mom and what she brought to the genetic pool, and our upbringing as well. One of the things Mom taught all of us, but especially me and Kim, was that there were no limits on what we could do. Just because we were women we should never think of that in relation to anything we wanted, and I don't believe either of us ever have. I know I haven't, and judging from Kim's success as a business woman, I don't think she did either.
But unfortunately what she neglected to teach either of us was that being women, we would be judged to a higher standard than our male counterparts all of our lives. Behavior that society accepts for most men as normal is seen as risky behavior, promiscuity and general skankiness in a woman, even today. My father could go on a drunken binge and leave home for two weeks, and other than his brothers going and finding him and sobering him back up and bringing him home, there would be no reaction by his family. It was like it never happened.
If I'm beginning to sound a little angry and bitter well, you're right, I am. I have no desire to see Dad. I don't. My great-grandfather was more of a father to me that he was, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Papaw. But Dad spent our younger childhood drinking and fighting with Mom, running around on her, blowing his money...there were far too many nights that we sat in the dark at our home because Dad had drank up his paycheck and Mom couldn't pay the electric bill. Then when I was 13 Dad drank and drove and a woman died because of his selfishness, and the somewhat pitiful life we did have went to hell in a handbasket at that point. As Dad was scheduled to be released from prison three years later, Mom got the courage to file for divorce and it was like Dad not only divorced her, he divorced us too. We three kids used to call ourselves the stepchildren, because that's how we were treated. Dad remarried almost immediately to a woman on her 5th marriage and with 5 children, the youngest one only 5. Her unmarried daughter who also had a child also lived with them. When his wife started abusing us, Dad did nothing to stop it, even leaving so he didn't have to witness it. He made himself a good life with her family, and left us feeling like we'd done something wrong, but we never quite knew what. I'm glad he raised her son to be a good man, and was a good father to him. I really am, because I love the guy like a real brother, not a stepbrother. Always have, and because I love him I am glad that he did have a good father. But I think it makes it difficult to discuss Dad because he sees one man and I see a very different one.
And now I sit here, angry with myself because I let it happen again....I let my extended family fool me into believing that I belonged, that I had a home, that I was valued and appreciated and loved. I guess I'll never learn. And then in one instant, it was all out in the open. That's when I realized that some things are just never going to change, no matter how hard you try.
One of these days I will learn to stop giving my trust so easily. Because people do not change. Leopards cannot wash away their spots, and if someone believes something about you, it's very difficult to change those beliefs - true or not. Maybe that's why I feel closer to people I have no blood relation with, but who have known me much better than my family ever has. These people know the true me, know what I am really like, and they love me, and they show me that love every day. In the long run, all I ever wanted from anyone was that they love me and let me love them, and it seems to be the one thing that continues to elude me when it comes to my family. My Mom loved me. I know that. My stepbrother loves me. I know that too. Until today I would have named some other family members as well, but now I'm just not so sure anymore. Which has absolutely nothing to do with me loving them. But then again, love never does.
Throw in a little Olympic crap (I can watch Michael Phelps swim a lap or maybe two, and one of those little girls jump around a bit, then I'm bored. I don't get the fascination), Chick-Fil-A and the manufactured crisis, and trying to plan to move a business AGAIN, a day of severe neck pain and a lawnmower issue and well....
I made a decision a few years ago to stop associating with some members of my family, most especially my immediate family. Ours has never been a peaceful coexistance, and after Mom died things went downhill to the point where every time I'd travel home to Tennessee, I'd spend half the trip back crying, and the next two weeks severely depressed. John got horribly frustrated with me, because he wasn't on those trips and he just couldn't get what was so bad - so what if we had a little tiff? See, his family is the total opposite of ours - they get into it on a regular basis, get loud, wave arms and stomp around a bit, then it's over. No grudge, no long drawn out vendetta, it's just done. In our family, we remember every slight, no matter how small, and we bury it all until it just gets to be too much and we explode. And when we explode, anyone within shouting distance gets hurt.
So I think even John is a little baffled as to why I decided to put an end to the pain being dealt out to me by those I have no defense against. Not recently, but not too long ago he was still encouraging me to go visit Dad again. He doesn't understand, as a number of others don't, that at this point it's not a choice I can make. The last time I found myself in my Dad's presence I got physically sick and had to leave immediately. While I love him and always will, (and we know that we have no say in who we love), too much happened over the years, there is too much rage, too much hurt. And there is nothing he can do to change that. I have been told that until I let my anger go, until I forgive, that I am not in a state of Grace. Well, that may be. But it doesn't change things.
There's been a lot of misinformation and disinformation associated with me and my name over the years. A lot of it came from my ex-husband. I won't lie to you, I was a very troubled teenager and I ran away from home a number of times. I also drank and occasionally smoked pot. I made some less than intelligent decisions in my teens and early 20's - but nothing on the scale of what was passed around about me by my family. By the time I was 26 I had grown out of all of that, I was in school, supporting myself and the kids, working two and sometimes three jobs to pay the bills. Did I cut up, cut loose on occasion with friends? Yes - just like everyone else. But there have been no arrests, no jail time, no rehab programs, no halfway houses, no drunken car wrecks, no car thefts, no attempted murders, no thefts of any sort, no marriages destroyed....in other words...my record is looking pretty clean in comparison to a great many members of my extended family. Oh yeah, and in that time period I also managed to buy and sell several houses, start and sell two successful businesses, I'm a published author and I've been quoted in The Nation. I got a college degree, I married a wonderful man and we've been together for almost 20 years, and I found several of the best friends any one person could ever have. And yet I'm seen as a failure.
I don't know if the people that made the stuff up just thought that I'd never hear any of it, or if they just didn't care. Either way, if you believed just half of the gossip exchanged by my good Christian extended family members, it's a wonder that I'm alive today. I should at the very least be in an AIDS ward someplace.
I remember the day that Dad apologized to me for believing my ex-husband instead of me. His excuse was that James was so credible, being an engineer and an Air Force Officer and all, that it wasn't until James broke promises to him that my Dad realized what a skumbag James was, and that maybe I had been telling the truth about him all along. When I asked him about the time I came to his house, bruised and bloody after yet another beating by the Officer and Gentleman, about why he didn't help me then, his answer was "Honey, every married couple fights".
I think, at this point, I'm pretty much done trying to prove myself to a group of people who have no interest in knowing who I really am. As one cousin recently opined, it's amazing that we're all from the same gene pool. I am so completely different - all of Dad's kids are so completely different in so many ways from the rest of his family... which makes me think it has to have something to do with Mom and what she brought to the genetic pool, and our upbringing as well. One of the things Mom taught all of us, but especially me and Kim, was that there were no limits on what we could do. Just because we were women we should never think of that in relation to anything we wanted, and I don't believe either of us ever have. I know I haven't, and judging from Kim's success as a business woman, I don't think she did either.
But unfortunately what she neglected to teach either of us was that being women, we would be judged to a higher standard than our male counterparts all of our lives. Behavior that society accepts for most men as normal is seen as risky behavior, promiscuity and general skankiness in a woman, even today. My father could go on a drunken binge and leave home for two weeks, and other than his brothers going and finding him and sobering him back up and bringing him home, there would be no reaction by his family. It was like it never happened.
If I'm beginning to sound a little angry and bitter well, you're right, I am. I have no desire to see Dad. I don't. My great-grandfather was more of a father to me that he was, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Papaw. But Dad spent our younger childhood drinking and fighting with Mom, running around on her, blowing his money...there were far too many nights that we sat in the dark at our home because Dad had drank up his paycheck and Mom couldn't pay the electric bill. Then when I was 13 Dad drank and drove and a woman died because of his selfishness, and the somewhat pitiful life we did have went to hell in a handbasket at that point. As Dad was scheduled to be released from prison three years later, Mom got the courage to file for divorce and it was like Dad not only divorced her, he divorced us too. We three kids used to call ourselves the stepchildren, because that's how we were treated. Dad remarried almost immediately to a woman on her 5th marriage and with 5 children, the youngest one only 5. Her unmarried daughter who also had a child also lived with them. When his wife started abusing us, Dad did nothing to stop it, even leaving so he didn't have to witness it. He made himself a good life with her family, and left us feeling like we'd done something wrong, but we never quite knew what. I'm glad he raised her son to be a good man, and was a good father to him. I really am, because I love the guy like a real brother, not a stepbrother. Always have, and because I love him I am glad that he did have a good father. But I think it makes it difficult to discuss Dad because he sees one man and I see a very different one.
And now I sit here, angry with myself because I let it happen again....I let my extended family fool me into believing that I belonged, that I had a home, that I was valued and appreciated and loved. I guess I'll never learn. And then in one instant, it was all out in the open. That's when I realized that some things are just never going to change, no matter how hard you try.
One of these days I will learn to stop giving my trust so easily. Because people do not change. Leopards cannot wash away their spots, and if someone believes something about you, it's very difficult to change those beliefs - true or not. Maybe that's why I feel closer to people I have no blood relation with, but who have known me much better than my family ever has. These people know the true me, know what I am really like, and they love me, and they show me that love every day. In the long run, all I ever wanted from anyone was that they love me and let me love them, and it seems to be the one thing that continues to elude me when it comes to my family. My Mom loved me. I know that. My stepbrother loves me. I know that too. Until today I would have named some other family members as well, but now I'm just not so sure anymore. Which has absolutely nothing to do with me loving them. But then again, love never does.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
And In A Blink, We Are Gone....
A lot of people start realizing their own mortality when their parents die. They suddenly realize that Mom or Dad is only 20 or 25 years older than them, and that's when either the midlife crisis happens or they straighten up, fly right, and start treating the body like it's an investment rather than a nasty carpet at a New York party. And before you say "Ew", think about some of the things you have done and put into your body over the years....even the CLEANEST living among you has scarfed half a dozen hot-out-of-the-oil Krispy Kreme's at 1:00 a.m. You know you have. Don't lie. And if it wasn't that, it was something else equally disgusting.
I didn't have a midlfe crisis, though, when Mom died in 1999. I mean, all of us kids smoked tobacco at that time, and since Mom was dying of lung cancer brought on by cigarettes, we all stood outside on the porch late one night while she lay inside dying, puffing away on our coffin nails and swearing that, when this was all over, we were going to quit. Out of the three of us, as far as I know I'm the only one who actually did, and it took me three more years to do it. To be fair, I had a good streak of 8 weeks clean going on September 11th, 2001, but Dad was having heart surgery that day and gave his cigarettes to me to hide from my stepmother. After the 2nd building came down the patch came off and I lit one up.
But on July 8th, 2002 I got up, showered, and went to my first day at my new job where I wasn't allowed to smoke until after I left work for the day because my boss was six months into a nine-month high-risk pregnancy and the smell of tobacco smoke made her hurl major. Best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish it could happen to everyone I love who smokes.
Because, in the long run, what people don't get is you aren't just hurting yourself. You aren't. You think you are, you yell loud about smoker's rights and argue about the real impact of second-hand smoke, but in reality, what you don't see is where it hurts your family the most. You don't see their faces as they wait in that hospital waiting room, waiting for you to get out of surgery, or wait for their fifteen minutes of visit time to you in the ICU, waiting for the doctor to finish his examination...waiting, worrying, crying, heart breaking...putting their lives on hold because you could not stop yourself from destroying your own body. They make excuses to their employers, their spouses, their kids so that they can sit there and wait for news, good or bad, about you. So that they can pray for you. It's what you do when you love someone.
This has been a hard week for me. I hurt my back on Tuesday, not at the lake, or tubing or any number of other great things I could have been doing that, had I hurt my back I could at least say "Yeah, but I had FUN" like I did last summer when I destroyed my knee, but doing something simple...bending over to get something out of a drawer in my office. Yep, that's it...I bent over and it felt like I had been shot in my lower back. Or what I imagine getting shot feels like anyway. And I've been in pain constantly ever since.
I don't do "pain pills"...Darvocet, Hydrocodone, Tylox...ugh. Anything off the store shelf that has "PM" after it puts me into a 12 hour coma, so you can imagine what these pills do to me. I take them only as a last resort, and only when I can just no longer stand the pain. And in addition to putting me in a coma, these pills also have the lovely side effect of making me nauseous. In a coma, and throwing up...yep, I think a number of rock stars have died that way over the years. So "pain pills" are a last resort option, only when I have a babysitter that can make sure I don't aspirate in my sleep.
OTC stuff helps a little, I'm taking two Aleve's every 12 hours on the dot...and believe me I know when that last hour is coming up.
Doesn't matter though. It's nothing compared to what one of my favorite people in the world is going through. Early in the year he ended up in the hospital for tests, and it was determined that he had had a heart attack...at 48. He had been diagnosed with diabetes a few years before as well. Recently he started feeling fatigued, then sick, then REALLY sick and ended up back in the hospital, only this time it's antibiotic-resistant strep, aka MRSA. He's been going through some major treatment to combat this, including drugs that are genetically developed just for him. However, the drugs are so hard on the body because this stuff is so hard to kill that he's been left bedridden, in pain and barely able to move.
Last night he told me that he was dying, and that he felt that he probably didn't have another year. I argued with him, told him to FIGHT, that he could fight this and he could win. I said all of the things to him that I would have said to my sister had I gotten the opportunity. What I got back from him really scared me, because he sounds so depressed, so....like he's just given up.
I don't understand why people give up. I don't understand why someone would choose to leave this life after such a short time here rather than stay and see what happens next. I'm pissed off that I'm almost fifty, that I only have maybe 30 or 40 years at the most! And that's if I'm lucky. Because looking at my family, there's a better-than-average chance that the big c or another debilitating illness will find me in the next ten years. Cancer is rampant on both sides of my family. My Dad has COPD, and while most of that is due to 50+ years of smoking and working as a paint and body repairman, inhaling dust, fiberglass, paint and God-only-knows-what chemicals into his lungs all those years, some of it is inherited as well. We all three had some sort of lung ailments as children, and on my part I developed asthma as an adult. My sister died of lung cancer. I have aunts and uncles who have died of lung and breast cancer. Mother, Father, Sister, Aunts, Uncles...So I know that it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.
I'm aware that suffering is involved here. I know my friend, this person that should have been my brother, I know he's in a great deal of pain. And I'm hoping that this round of medication will cure the infection raging in his system and that his words are all just the depression brought on by boredom, being in bed, being fucked up on pain pills, being broke, and feeling useless. Because of all things, hope is something that I can never let go of. Hope for him, hope for myself, for John, for Gareth, for my kids and their kids. Hope for my cousins who, like me, are so vulnerable. Some have already started the fight and are winning!
I know some very little of what good friend is feeling...only a very small part..because I've spent most of this last week sitting here in front of my computer, in the only chair in the house comfortable to me, in the only position comfortable to me, unable to do some of the most basic chores around here like change litter boxes, or even something as simple as feeding the cats (haven't been able to bend over or lift very well). John has taken on the entire burden without a word of reproach, and I can't say enough kind words to him about that. Gareth has been so understanding, despite the fact that he has had to run the store by himself most of the week. And I know I haven't been easy to live with...I've been grouchy and short and petulant and...bitchy. Because I hurt. And now, after talking to my dear friend, I feel like skum. I have no reason for complaint.
My "midlife crisis" as it were is that I worry about death coming and me not being ready for it. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it. There is so much I still want to do, that I want to see, that I want to BE. I want to travel. I want to see where my sister lived the last 1/4 of her life. I want to visit New York City again. I want to watch my granddaughter and grandson graduate college. And I want to LIVE every day to it's fullest. I hope that I don't ever give up, that I don't ever give in, and that I don't ever say "at least if I'm dead, I can rest". Because that, to me, would be the ultimate tragedy.
I didn't have a midlfe crisis, though, when Mom died in 1999. I mean, all of us kids smoked tobacco at that time, and since Mom was dying of lung cancer brought on by cigarettes, we all stood outside on the porch late one night while she lay inside dying, puffing away on our coffin nails and swearing that, when this was all over, we were going to quit. Out of the three of us, as far as I know I'm the only one who actually did, and it took me three more years to do it. To be fair, I had a good streak of 8 weeks clean going on September 11th, 2001, but Dad was having heart surgery that day and gave his cigarettes to me to hide from my stepmother. After the 2nd building came down the patch came off and I lit one up.
But on July 8th, 2002 I got up, showered, and went to my first day at my new job where I wasn't allowed to smoke until after I left work for the day because my boss was six months into a nine-month high-risk pregnancy and the smell of tobacco smoke made her hurl major. Best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish it could happen to everyone I love who smokes.
Because, in the long run, what people don't get is you aren't just hurting yourself. You aren't. You think you are, you yell loud about smoker's rights and argue about the real impact of second-hand smoke, but in reality, what you don't see is where it hurts your family the most. You don't see their faces as they wait in that hospital waiting room, waiting for you to get out of surgery, or wait for their fifteen minutes of visit time to you in the ICU, waiting for the doctor to finish his examination...waiting, worrying, crying, heart breaking...putting their lives on hold because you could not stop yourself from destroying your own body. They make excuses to their employers, their spouses, their kids so that they can sit there and wait for news, good or bad, about you. So that they can pray for you. It's what you do when you love someone.
This has been a hard week for me. I hurt my back on Tuesday, not at the lake, or tubing or any number of other great things I could have been doing that, had I hurt my back I could at least say "Yeah, but I had FUN" like I did last summer when I destroyed my knee, but doing something simple...bending over to get something out of a drawer in my office. Yep, that's it...I bent over and it felt like I had been shot in my lower back. Or what I imagine getting shot feels like anyway. And I've been in pain constantly ever since.
I don't do "pain pills"...Darvocet, Hydrocodone, Tylox...ugh. Anything off the store shelf that has "PM" after it puts me into a 12 hour coma, so you can imagine what these pills do to me. I take them only as a last resort, and only when I can just no longer stand the pain. And in addition to putting me in a coma, these pills also have the lovely side effect of making me nauseous. In a coma, and throwing up...yep, I think a number of rock stars have died that way over the years. So "pain pills" are a last resort option, only when I have a babysitter that can make sure I don't aspirate in my sleep.
OTC stuff helps a little, I'm taking two Aleve's every 12 hours on the dot...and believe me I know when that last hour is coming up.
Doesn't matter though. It's nothing compared to what one of my favorite people in the world is going through. Early in the year he ended up in the hospital for tests, and it was determined that he had had a heart attack...at 48. He had been diagnosed with diabetes a few years before as well. Recently he started feeling fatigued, then sick, then REALLY sick and ended up back in the hospital, only this time it's antibiotic-resistant strep, aka MRSA. He's been going through some major treatment to combat this, including drugs that are genetically developed just for him. However, the drugs are so hard on the body because this stuff is so hard to kill that he's been left bedridden, in pain and barely able to move.
Last night he told me that he was dying, and that he felt that he probably didn't have another year. I argued with him, told him to FIGHT, that he could fight this and he could win. I said all of the things to him that I would have said to my sister had I gotten the opportunity. What I got back from him really scared me, because he sounds so depressed, so....like he's just given up.
I don't understand why people give up. I don't understand why someone would choose to leave this life after such a short time here rather than stay and see what happens next. I'm pissed off that I'm almost fifty, that I only have maybe 30 or 40 years at the most! And that's if I'm lucky. Because looking at my family, there's a better-than-average chance that the big c or another debilitating illness will find me in the next ten years. Cancer is rampant on both sides of my family. My Dad has COPD, and while most of that is due to 50+ years of smoking and working as a paint and body repairman, inhaling dust, fiberglass, paint and God-only-knows-what chemicals into his lungs all those years, some of it is inherited as well. We all three had some sort of lung ailments as children, and on my part I developed asthma as an adult. My sister died of lung cancer. I have aunts and uncles who have died of lung and breast cancer. Mother, Father, Sister, Aunts, Uncles...So I know that it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.
I'm aware that suffering is involved here. I know my friend, this person that should have been my brother, I know he's in a great deal of pain. And I'm hoping that this round of medication will cure the infection raging in his system and that his words are all just the depression brought on by boredom, being in bed, being fucked up on pain pills, being broke, and feeling useless. Because of all things, hope is something that I can never let go of. Hope for him, hope for myself, for John, for Gareth, for my kids and their kids. Hope for my cousins who, like me, are so vulnerable. Some have already started the fight and are winning!
I know some very little of what good friend is feeling...only a very small part..because I've spent most of this last week sitting here in front of my computer, in the only chair in the house comfortable to me, in the only position comfortable to me, unable to do some of the most basic chores around here like change litter boxes, or even something as simple as feeding the cats (haven't been able to bend over or lift very well). John has taken on the entire burden without a word of reproach, and I can't say enough kind words to him about that. Gareth has been so understanding, despite the fact that he has had to run the store by himself most of the week. And I know I haven't been easy to live with...I've been grouchy and short and petulant and...bitchy. Because I hurt. And now, after talking to my dear friend, I feel like skum. I have no reason for complaint.
My "midlife crisis" as it were is that I worry about death coming and me not being ready for it. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it. There is so much I still want to do, that I want to see, that I want to BE. I want to travel. I want to see where my sister lived the last 1/4 of her life. I want to visit New York City again. I want to watch my granddaughter and grandson graduate college. And I want to LIVE every day to it's fullest. I hope that I don't ever give up, that I don't ever give in, and that I don't ever say "at least if I'm dead, I can rest". Because that, to me, would be the ultimate tragedy.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
How Democrats are Failing in Oconee County and South Carolina
(NOTE: The following is my own opinions. They do not reflect and in many cases are in direct opposition to my husband John's opinions, so please do not read any of this and believe that I speak for both of us. I do not. If you want to know how he feels you are welcome to ask him, and I can promise you if you ask he WILL tell you. :)
(If you aren't interested in local politics, or aren't from this area, you might not find this blog very interesting. If you are interested in local politics and are from this area, you may be offended. Either way, you have been warned.)
As I sat in the glaring light and heat of the Fun In The Sun Festival in West Union today (June 9, 2012), I watched our neighbors to our right, - a conservative group who came together to make sure all of the previously Republican candidates get the required signatures necessary to be on this fall's ballot - scramble in the heat. The volunteers would approach each individual that passed and ask them where they lived, where they voted, and then asking the fairgoer to sign the petitions, if any, applicable to their area. Further down, across from us Republican Oconee County Sheriff's candidate Mike Crenshaw greeted fairgoers and shook hands, while his volunteers asked for the same signatures on their petitions. Go down the street a little more and you will find more Republican candidates also engaged in getting the necessary signatures for this fall's election.
Of the Democrats, there was not a sign. Plenty of crafters, civic organizations and food vendors, a couple of local businesses, and the music stage at the end of the street, but all of the excitement on the street was being generated by the conservative political volunteers going from person to person. This excitement virtually guaranteed that the now-defunct Republican Primary would be the big topic of conversation.
As I watched all of this I could not help but think about what an opportunity the Democrats of Oconee County had missed yet again. Since the Oconee County Democratic Party participated in the Christmas Parades in December of 2011, there has been very little other community participation by the OCDP. Including this one, there have been four community festivals that I know of - Mayberry Days in Westminster, Mayfest in Walhalla, Senecafest in Seneca and of course Fun In The Sun today in West Union - this year. We as Oconee County Democrats have participated in NONE of them that I'm aware of. We should have been at ALL of them.
I don't wonder anymore why we are at such a disadvantage in Oconee County - I know. In order to gain community awareness, we have to PARTICIPATE in community events. We have to be out there, talking to people, giving them our perspectives and our information and our opinions and letting them know there is an alternative to the same government they've tolerated for forever. Our local party has been hijacked by a group of individuals who are stuck in their ways and refuse to try anything new, and the rest of the group are scared of them or have wandered away. Our State party has no interest anymore of supporting the party on the county level. So what happens is that instead of speaking up and giving support, those people who would make excellent volunteers, people with energy, and heart, and commitment instead get tired of being told "Well, we don't do it that way" and they quit coming around.
I first posted information about today's festival two months ago on the OCDP Facebook page. Booth space was CHEAP compared with what most festivals charge - only $25. I even recommended that the party request their booth be next to mine so that I could do double duty. I heard NOTHING in return, yea, nay or kiss my ass. I also sent the same info in an email to the county Chair, and heard nothing from that as well.
At the county convention earlier in the year we knew there was the possibility that the OCDP could be disbanded. Many people approached my husband John and asked him to take over the Chair, and I was even approached to do it. My reasons for saying no were very simple - almost all of my energy and attention go into our animal rescue, and I could not devote the time and energy necessary to the party that it deserves to do the job properly. You will have to ask John his reasons for declining, but I know that the very frustration that I feel today played a role in his decision. I'm thinking now that disbanded might have been the best overall. Because this is just downright embarrassing. It is EMBARRASSING to tell a Republican volunteer that you are a Democrat and have them say "Do we even have a Democratic Party in Oconee County?"
I haven't been to a meeting in months, partially due to rescue, and partially due to the OCDP making the decision to keep meeting in restaurants despite requests by members that we keep the meetings in public venues where purchase of a meal is not required. And why did our leadership choose to make that decision? BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE FREEKING COFFEE.
Yep, that's it in a nutshell...God Forbid that someone might have to break a sweat doing what? Measuring a few teaspoons of (party purchased or donated) coffee into a (party purchased or donated) coffee pot, add some water, let it perk on it's own, and then pour it into a (party purchased or donated) thermos and - here's the hard part - carry it to a meeting? I don't even DRINK coffee so I am not very good at making it but I'd even be willing to take a turn at it now and again. That's just ridiculous that I even had to hear about that.
I have come to the conclusion that what is called the Oconee County South Carolina Democratic Party is, in reality, nothing more than a social club for a bunch of do-nothings who like to get together and argue. And I'm sorry, but cleaning a stretch of highway once a month, in my opinion, furthers the Democratic cause very little. If it makes you feel happy, I'm happy for you.
In the meantime we can't even field a slate of candidates. In a county this size, we can't find more than ONE person willing to serve his or her community, or at least willing to try. Why? Because they know they will have little to no support from Democrats. Democrats think we can sit around and discuss an election and make a few phone calls and win it, while Republicans KNOW that the only way to win local elections is to go door-to-door, house to house, church to church, club to club, until you are ready to literally drop from exhaustion. You don't have a minute you can call your own from the time you announce. And you have a huge group of volunteers to call on to do what you can't. Here in Oconee County, and many other places in South Carolina, we don't have anything close to that kind of dedication. Hell, Marilyn couldn't find anyone to man the filing location until John volunteered. Not that we had any candidates but you know...
Democrats in Oconee County should have been all over this whole election brouhaha right from the beginning, starting with a strongly-worded statement against the State Legislature for passing this flawed law in the first place. Then, when Adams "certified" his candidates despite them not being in compliance of State law, our party should have called a press conference to decry this action and demand that the county and state elections officials right this wrong. When the challenge against Bartee's credentials surfaced, we should have had an official representative of our party in the courtroom as the defenders of a fair election system. And when the Republicans made their recent crazy decision to completely dump the established primary election and force all of their candidates to scramble to get on the ballot in November, we again as a party should have demanded an investigation by the state as to what the heck Republicans are doing here in Oconee county to the voters. But we did NOTHING. You wouldn't even know that we exist...
The Democratic party is supposed to be the party of the PEOPLE. We are supposed to be the defenders of the downtrodden, the demanders of fair elections, and the ones who stand up and shout "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO SHUT UP UNTIL YOU MAKE IT RIGHT!!!" Instead, what we have here in South Carolina and especially in Oconee County is "I'm not happy about it but I'm not going to say anything because we never have before and besides, somebody might make me do something if I do". Until we get an ACTIVE party that participates in community outreach, gives regular updates to the press and REPRESENTS Oconee County Democrats and Liberals, well, truthfully your little meetings are just a waste of my (and apparently a lot of others) time. Call me when you want to act like a real party again.
(If you aren't interested in local politics, or aren't from this area, you might not find this blog very interesting. If you are interested in local politics and are from this area, you may be offended. Either way, you have been warned.)
As I sat in the glaring light and heat of the Fun In The Sun Festival in West Union today (June 9, 2012), I watched our neighbors to our right, - a conservative group who came together to make sure all of the previously Republican candidates get the required signatures necessary to be on this fall's ballot - scramble in the heat. The volunteers would approach each individual that passed and ask them where they lived, where they voted, and then asking the fairgoer to sign the petitions, if any, applicable to their area. Further down, across from us Republican Oconee County Sheriff's candidate Mike Crenshaw greeted fairgoers and shook hands, while his volunteers asked for the same signatures on their petitions. Go down the street a little more and you will find more Republican candidates also engaged in getting the necessary signatures for this fall's election.
Of the Democrats, there was not a sign. Plenty of crafters, civic organizations and food vendors, a couple of local businesses, and the music stage at the end of the street, but all of the excitement on the street was being generated by the conservative political volunteers going from person to person. This excitement virtually guaranteed that the now-defunct Republican Primary would be the big topic of conversation.
As I watched all of this I could not help but think about what an opportunity the Democrats of Oconee County had missed yet again. Since the Oconee County Democratic Party participated in the Christmas Parades in December of 2011, there has been very little other community participation by the OCDP. Including this one, there have been four community festivals that I know of - Mayberry Days in Westminster, Mayfest in Walhalla, Senecafest in Seneca and of course Fun In The Sun today in West Union - this year. We as Oconee County Democrats have participated in NONE of them that I'm aware of. We should have been at ALL of them.
I don't wonder anymore why we are at such a disadvantage in Oconee County - I know. In order to gain community awareness, we have to PARTICIPATE in community events. We have to be out there, talking to people, giving them our perspectives and our information and our opinions and letting them know there is an alternative to the same government they've tolerated for forever. Our local party has been hijacked by a group of individuals who are stuck in their ways and refuse to try anything new, and the rest of the group are scared of them or have wandered away. Our State party has no interest anymore of supporting the party on the county level. So what happens is that instead of speaking up and giving support, those people who would make excellent volunteers, people with energy, and heart, and commitment instead get tired of being told "Well, we don't do it that way" and they quit coming around.
I first posted information about today's festival two months ago on the OCDP Facebook page. Booth space was CHEAP compared with what most festivals charge - only $25. I even recommended that the party request their booth be next to mine so that I could do double duty. I heard NOTHING in return, yea, nay or kiss my ass. I also sent the same info in an email to the county Chair, and heard nothing from that as well.
At the county convention earlier in the year we knew there was the possibility that the OCDP could be disbanded. Many people approached my husband John and asked him to take over the Chair, and I was even approached to do it. My reasons for saying no were very simple - almost all of my energy and attention go into our animal rescue, and I could not devote the time and energy necessary to the party that it deserves to do the job properly. You will have to ask John his reasons for declining, but I know that the very frustration that I feel today played a role in his decision. I'm thinking now that disbanded might have been the best overall. Because this is just downright embarrassing. It is EMBARRASSING to tell a Republican volunteer that you are a Democrat and have them say "Do we even have a Democratic Party in Oconee County?"
I haven't been to a meeting in months, partially due to rescue, and partially due to the OCDP making the decision to keep meeting in restaurants despite requests by members that we keep the meetings in public venues where purchase of a meal is not required. And why did our leadership choose to make that decision? BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE FREEKING COFFEE.
Yep, that's it in a nutshell...God Forbid that someone might have to break a sweat doing what? Measuring a few teaspoons of (party purchased or donated) coffee into a (party purchased or donated) coffee pot, add some water, let it perk on it's own, and then pour it into a (party purchased or donated) thermos and - here's the hard part - carry it to a meeting? I don't even DRINK coffee so I am not very good at making it but I'd even be willing to take a turn at it now and again. That's just ridiculous that I even had to hear about that.
I have come to the conclusion that what is called the Oconee County South Carolina Democratic Party is, in reality, nothing more than a social club for a bunch of do-nothings who like to get together and argue. And I'm sorry, but cleaning a stretch of highway once a month, in my opinion, furthers the Democratic cause very little. If it makes you feel happy, I'm happy for you.
In the meantime we can't even field a slate of candidates. In a county this size, we can't find more than ONE person willing to serve his or her community, or at least willing to try. Why? Because they know they will have little to no support from Democrats. Democrats think we can sit around and discuss an election and make a few phone calls and win it, while Republicans KNOW that the only way to win local elections is to go door-to-door, house to house, church to church, club to club, until you are ready to literally drop from exhaustion. You don't have a minute you can call your own from the time you announce. And you have a huge group of volunteers to call on to do what you can't. Here in Oconee County, and many other places in South Carolina, we don't have anything close to that kind of dedication. Hell, Marilyn couldn't find anyone to man the filing location until John volunteered. Not that we had any candidates but you know...
Democrats in Oconee County should have been all over this whole election brouhaha right from the beginning, starting with a strongly-worded statement against the State Legislature for passing this flawed law in the first place. Then, when Adams "certified" his candidates despite them not being in compliance of State law, our party should have called a press conference to decry this action and demand that the county and state elections officials right this wrong. When the challenge against Bartee's credentials surfaced, we should have had an official representative of our party in the courtroom as the defenders of a fair election system. And when the Republicans made their recent crazy decision to completely dump the established primary election and force all of their candidates to scramble to get on the ballot in November, we again as a party should have demanded an investigation by the state as to what the heck Republicans are doing here in Oconee county to the voters. But we did NOTHING. You wouldn't even know that we exist...
The Democratic party is supposed to be the party of the PEOPLE. We are supposed to be the defenders of the downtrodden, the demanders of fair elections, and the ones who stand up and shout "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO SHUT UP UNTIL YOU MAKE IT RIGHT!!!" Instead, what we have here in South Carolina and especially in Oconee County is "I'm not happy about it but I'm not going to say anything because we never have before and besides, somebody might make me do something if I do". Until we get an ACTIVE party that participates in community outreach, gives regular updates to the press and REPRESENTS Oconee County Democrats and Liberals, well, truthfully your little meetings are just a waste of my (and apparently a lot of others) time. Call me when you want to act like a real party again.
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